Headspace, Creature-liness, and following the Breath
It has been over 3 years since I blogged, 6 since I blogged with any regularity. But I want to blog a little about my experience of using the Headspace App.
This is just a hello post, but I wanted to say that what has been most helpful about using the Headspace App for the last 2 or so years is the reduction in chatter in my head. Since I've always derived much of my identity from being "smart" there is a significant amount of analysis in my head of every action I take or don't take. And analysis spawns analysis to the point where my mind paralyzes my body, my will and my senses, dominating everything.
The practice of focusing on the breath has been for me a practical way of "being still and knowing that God is God." For 10 or 20 minutes a day, or sometimes 3 or 5, I take a break from being the god of my own life and sit with the very creature-ly act of breathing.
My mind is so incredibly bossy, that even focusing on breathing is something that the mind/brain tries to direct. I am supposed to "follow the breath" but I have to play tricks on my brain to even manage that simple creature-ly activity. As I am breathing in and out, my mind humming "in" then "out" to stay in control, I hold onto a breath until my body yells "breathe" and momentarily interrupts the mind's grasp on the breathing activity so that I can, at least momentarily "follow" the breath with my mind rather than "control" the breath with my mind which is what I had always done in the past during "meditation."
It is amazing how few seconds are actually spent following the breath, but they bring true rest, the wind of the spirit whispering through my life to remind me to "be still and know that God is God."
This is just a hello post, but I wanted to say that what has been most helpful about using the Headspace App for the last 2 or so years is the reduction in chatter in my head. Since I've always derived much of my identity from being "smart" there is a significant amount of analysis in my head of every action I take or don't take. And analysis spawns analysis to the point where my mind paralyzes my body, my will and my senses, dominating everything.
The practice of focusing on the breath has been for me a practical way of "being still and knowing that God is God." For 10 or 20 minutes a day, or sometimes 3 or 5, I take a break from being the god of my own life and sit with the very creature-ly act of breathing.
My mind is so incredibly bossy, that even focusing on breathing is something that the mind/brain tries to direct. I am supposed to "follow the breath" but I have to play tricks on my brain to even manage that simple creature-ly activity. As I am breathing in and out, my mind humming "in" then "out" to stay in control, I hold onto a breath until my body yells "breathe" and momentarily interrupts the mind's grasp on the breathing activity so that I can, at least momentarily "follow" the breath with my mind rather than "control" the breath with my mind which is what I had always done in the past during "meditation."
It is amazing how few seconds are actually spent following the breath, but they bring true rest, the wind of the spirit whispering through my life to remind me to "be still and know that God is God."
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